Edited to add: This post was originally written on April 10th, 2012.
Today, I did a hard thing. Somehow, in ways my brain can't understand, everything has worked out, and that should come as no surprise to me.
Today, I quit my job. I quit my job in order to be home with my sweet Campbell girl. The prayer that I have prayed every.single.day since the moment she was born has been answered. I was never one of those women who planned on staying home with my baby. A long time ago, during one of those serious discussions you have before you get married, I distinctly remember telling David that I wanted to keep a job if we ever had kids. I think he was a little disappointed, because his mom stayed home with him and his brother, and I think he wanted that for our (then purely hypothetical) kids. And then, on June 10th of 2011, I looked into the most gorgeous pair of deep blue eyes I'd ever seen, and I thought, "Oh, no. I can't leave this precious child with someone else while I go to work." On that day, everything seemed to snap into focus. Priorities shifted in mighty ways. The things that were once important suddenly seemed embarassingly trivial. That very day I began praying that God would show us a way for me to stay home with her. I believed wholeheartedly that it would come to pass, but of course, I wanted it in my time. I just knew He'd show us before I went back from maternity leave. But September 1st came, and I dropped off my baby girl with a perfect stranger while I went back to work and tried to keep it together. I kept praying, and knew I'd get my "Christmas miracle." Christmas came and went, and on January 3rd, I dropped her off again while I headed to the office. And then, sometime during late January and February, hailstones started to fall. It started to look like there might be a possibility that I could stay at home with Campbell. When we crunched the numbers, they weren't exactly right. I started exploring the option of just teaching part-time, and it looked like that could work. We took a huge leap of faith, and today, I quit my job. A few hours ago, I didn't know if a position teaching on an adjunct basis would be available to me. But now, it looks like it might be. Numerous friends have told me to just stand back and let God work. That's really hard for me to do, but I did it.
So...as of May 15th, I will stay at home with my sweet baby girl during the week, and a few weekends a semester, I will go impart some Human Services and Counseling knowledge to eager minds. I am beyond excited to be able to be home with Campbell. I will take her to story hour at the library. I will see her first steps. I will kiss every boo-boo. I will watch her laugh as the wind blows through her hair while I plant flowers in our unruly flowerbeds. I will weed the very large garden my brother-in-law and his girlfriend planted this weekend. I will get my house in order. I will be present for my daughter.
In December, I was talking with one of my best friends about my struggle with working full-time and being a good mom. I told her that I knew God would make a way for me to stay home and give Campbell the attention that she deserves from her mommy. I told her that there were three words that I would shout from the rooftops when it happened. And now, since I live in the country and only about 5 people would hear them if I did, in fact, shout from my rooftop, I'll say them on the Internet for the world to see: GOD DID THIS. He is good...all the time.